


Always Gonna Give Up

by a_lagaesia



Category: Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley (Music Video), Rick Astley (Musician)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:33:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27276532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_lagaesia/pseuds/a_lagaesia
Summary: Rick Astley has depression, but it's not angst. It's comedic, I swear.
Kudos: 3





	Always Gonna Give Up

**Author's Note:**

> Sigh, Rick Astley fanfic...

Hi, I’m Rick Astley, and this is the story of how I was diagnosed with depression. Ironically, it all started on a bright summer day, I had just woken up from a long night planning music video ideas, for one of my new songs, and a thought struck me. What if I went out in public and Rick-rolled people? I figured it would probably bring me money on Youtube for the number of people going to laugh at people’s reaction and my perfect execution. My fame would be rekindled as a result of the stupid meme that circulates through the Internet every once and awhile. 

I brought up the plan to my agent and he whole-heartedly agreed to help me out by getting the camera team together. My agent hired a full team from Buzzfeed to record people’s reactions. The plan was to go out into London and bring along the full team of camera men and randomly go up behind people and sing the song. My agent never mentioned or even thought until the plan was actually in motion that they might get sued for scaring people. Oh well, the plan must go on. If I wanted to scare people, then so be it. 

On the day of the actual plan, I woke up extra early to prepare my voice for the long day ahead of it, I sang a few bars of my newer songs and found myself excited and elated that I could still sing so beautifully. Driving to the studio, I thought of how I would scare people and smiled at the prospect of scaring a few young people. 

Walking out of the studio feeling eyes all over me and my temporary crew, I inhaled and exhaled the humid summer air. I figured that the air would be harder to sing in, but it was too late to back out now, we had left the studio and were already driving to a park close-by. I got out of the car, somehow feeling sick to my stomach, but I shoved my nerves in the back of my brain and stalked over to a nearby bench. I got out his news-reporting microphone, ran over and sang, “We’ve known each other for so long/ Your hearts been aching but you’re too shy to say it”. The woman sitting on the bench looked at me with a disgusted look, got up and left. 

One of the camera holders began to chuckle and soon enough the rest of the camera crew exploded into laughter. I stood there, deflated, staring at the ground like it was the only thing that could get me out of this embarrassing moment. 

Nevertheless, I motioned for the camera crew to follow me to the fountain, the crew occasionally bursting into bouts of laughter. I sauntered over to the magnificent fountain, steeling myself for another disappointing reaction. I went over singing, “We’re no strangers to love/ You know the rules and so do I/ A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of/ You wouldn’t get this from any other guy” winking and slyly smiling at the third line. The couple sitting there looked at me like I was some kind of monster and I stood there smiling, waiting for a response, anything, a nod of the head, a wave of a hand, anything. 

Alas, no one said anything. I sighed, and as I did, the woman said, “Uhhh, I’m kinda dating this guy so no I guess? I don’t even know who you are…”

This broke my heart and I sardonically smiled and said, “I’m the guy who wrote the song, sweetheart, but apparently no one knows that. And I wasn’t asking you out or anything, I was trying to Rickroll you.”

“All the more reason to get away from you. Let’s go Michael.” The woman stomped off, her boyfriend’s hand in hers and never looked back. Micheal looked back and apologizing waved. 

This was all caught on camera and the camera crew could not help but make fun of my poor misfortune. Valiantly, I kept going, never giving up hope that this would be a good video. Despite my sad efforts, I failed; most people regarded him as a distraction and left the place they were. There was one couple who did notice who I was and laughed and sang along with me, but this one encounter did not make a difference to the thousands of other rejections I had received that day. 

While the sun set, so did my desires of making a viral video. I knew that it would be impossible to make a video as there was only one person who recognized me as Rick Astley the singer of the famed Rick-rolling song. The Buzzfeed camera crew packed up their supplies and piled into the car, beckoning me to enter the car so we could go back to the studio. When we got back I moped to my car and then drove away, listening to a radio with 80s songs. As the first note of my hit song came up I quickly and violently shut the radio off, tears streaming out of my sad brown eyes. I yelled, “Damn it”, pulled over, got out of the car and just started walking, leaving all of my belongings in the car, including my phone. 

Stomping off, I heard many sounds, people laughing, people dancing, people singing, all of those things seemed near impossible with the melancholy I felt, buried deep in my heart. I silently cried while I walked, sometimes stopping to wipe my tears and beat my fist against a wall in my anger and disappointment in myself. As I finally calmed down, I walked to my car, got in, and drove home to my wife and child, both asleep. I checked his phone and noted that there were 7 missed phone calls from Lene, my wife. When I got into bed, Lene rolled over, smiled and then rolled back over and slept. I lie in my bed, eyes open, contemplating the meaning and purpose of my life. I never came to a conclusion as sleep delightfully consumed me. 

I awoke around noon the next day and I could smell the fresh aroma of tomato being sliced for a salad. I sighed and got up, my wife greeting me with a warm grin. We chatted, never mentioning what happened the night before. 

I knew that I was depressed and my sunken eyes betrayed my willinglessness of not being alive. I would never kill himself, but I did feel an emptiness in my heart ever since then. Depression set in, and I succumbed to its gentle grip and fell into a trap of hopelessness, attempting to drink my numerous sorrows away. 

**A few weeks later**

“Buzzfeed just released a new video, and it is taking the Internet by storm, check out the link on our website KTUK.news.com to watch this viral video.” I straightened up as I grabbed my laptop on the coffee table next to the couch. As I punched in the letters to the keyboard, I took a long swig of beer, preparing myself for whatever viral cat video would come on the screen. I clicked the link that strangely had no thumbnail, and I was redirected to Youtube, a video by Buzzfeed. 

My spirits sank to the depths of the ocean as I watched the video unfold. I was paralyzed, I could not think. I gaped at the screen in abject horror, eyes never blinking, never missing a moment of the voracious video. 

After the video ended, I sat on my plush purple putrid couch, my mind gears trying to process the video I just watched. I lunged toward the phone, quickly dialing my agent’s number, “What the hell is this?” I yelled into the phone when the agent picked up. 

“It’s your video Mr. Astley, the contract you signed mentioned that a video would be made regardless of the situation. The video is made and it cannot be deleted,” my agent said in a monotone voice. 

Shouting into the phone, I said, “Why can’t the bloody video be deleted? That damn thing is tarnishing my name and all that I stand for. I’m being made into a laughing stock!”

“I’m sorry Mr. Astley, but it cannot be deleted either, it is in the contract. You should have read it more closely if you didn’t want this to happen.”

I hung up and tears, almost like bullets of sweat came rolling out of my eyes, dampening my long sleeve shirt as I wiped them away. I yowled in pain as the sting from the video fully hit me with the force of a thousand cement trucks. Grabbing the coffee table I lifted it up over my head and threw it at the wall where pictures of all my songs were. The sound was deafening and I cried, wishing for Death’s final embrace. 

And that was the day I was diagnosed with depression. Life really sucks still, and I hate the feeling I get whenever some rando on the street says my name, because I know it’s me they are looking for, and the only reason is because of that damn video. So friends, take this as a warning never, ever, ever sign a contract with Buzzfeed, because they will ruin your entire life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!


End file.
